Write with TLC

I missed a goal last week, and for once I'm okay with that. I'd set myself a goal, a challenge really, to post on this blog once a week for a full year. Last week, I missed my first week since starting the challenge at the beginning of January. After I sat and stared at a blank screen for hours without being able to type a single word for two days straight, I finally had to accept that I wasn't going to post anything. Eventually I realized that I was exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally, so I let it go. In the past I would've felt guilty. I would've beat myself up. I would've decided I was a complete failure. This would've lead me to even more negative and mean self-talk. This time, though, when those voices started whispering in my ear, I decided to talk to myself like a friend instead of a boss. I sat quietly and thought about what's been going on in my life in recent months. Then I decided to indulge in a bit of self-care, not anythi

Sometimes it feels like there's nothing left to say. It feels like everything that could be said has been said. There are times when we have repeated ourselves so many times, we start to think the message will never be heard. Does it really matter what we communicate if the words go willfully unheard time and again? I'm not sure, but I know we can't stop speaking up. I can't stop speaking up even when I'm exhausted and it feels like no one cares about facts. Sometimes what seems so obvious to me is completely lost on other people. I want to believe that at heart people are good, but I'm not as sure as I used to be. As I talk to people, even people to whom I'm close, I often feel like we're experiencing the world from completely different places and that stops us from finding a way to meld the worlds we experience in a way that benefits us all. It's one thing to agree on a set of facts but to have differing opinions about what those facts mean.

Authenticity... Have you ever met someone and immediately felt their authenticity? Have you ever been in a situation where you felt like an impostor? Have you ever feared someone seeing through a carefully crafted image you'd cultivated? Have you ever feared your authentic self would be hated or maligned? Have you ever feared your authentic self would invite ridicule and pain? Have you ever feared your authentic self would expose your vulnerabilities? Yes, I have. I most definitely have. And, if you have, too, then you and I have that in common. It's sometimes difficult to be authentic when you know the person you are will be deemed unacceptable, particularly in your own close knit circle of friends and family. When you're told often enough that you're not good enough, not perfect not, not acceptable enough, not lovable, you begin to believe it even if you don't admit it to yourself. As that message sinks in, it becomes easy to put on a mask in order t