Write with TLC

Peace is a practice, not a goal. I used to think if we could just reach peace, everything would be perfect. We'd somehow transform into utopia. But, at the same time, I didn't believe peace could ever be truly achieved. In my search for peace both in my own life and in the world around me, I've come to see peace as more about how we live, think, and interact than it is about checking off a box as a mission accomplished. That shift in perspective has made my goal to cultivate a climate of peace in my life much easier. If we live in a climate of chaos, then chaos is what prevails in our lives. If we live chaotic lives, we bring chaos to the world around us. If we allow the chaos in the world to dictate our lives, we bring chaos to our lives. Early in my life, I thought life was chaotic and there was always some catastrophe lurking around every corner. I accepted that as a reality that could never be changed. I never felt a moment's peace while in that state of ...

Sometimes I find it impossible to quiet my mind. Today has been one of those days. As I've tried to work through the things I needed to do, my mind has felt chaotic. Even meditation didn't help much. Even yoga didn't help much. Today's post was scheduled to be about reading fiction, but instead I'm stuck on how difficult it can be to quiet one's mind even with all the tools that usually work. Sometimes we have to let ourselves feel the chaos in our minds in order to quiet it and move on. My meditation this morning focused on expanding one's light out into the world. As I meditated, my thoughts settled on my decision several years ago to make a concerted effort to live from a foundation of love. As I meditated, I imagined the light emanating from me as that foundation of love. The more I make a concerted effort to live from a place of love, the stronger I feel. Living from a place of love isn't about allowing people to walk all over me or abou...

Let's talk about golf... I first attempted to learn to play golf many years ago. It didn't go well. Every time I went I left feeling more frustrated than the last time. I compared myself to everyone else and worried about what everyone else was thinking about my attempts. It wasn't fun. In fact, I hated every minute of it yet something about it also intrigued me. Several years later, I was writing a character who played golf in a book as yet unfinished. I went to write a scene and realized I didn't know enough about the game to write it, so I signed up for golf lessons. I blogged about those lessons on a different version of this blog. The lessons were empowering and invigorating. I decided I enjoyed hitting the ball. That was something, right? Eventually, I took those lessons onto a golf course, starting with a 3 par course and playing it until it started to feel too easy. Then I started playing on a 4 par course. That feels about right. It still challenges m...

I started meditating several years ago. I'll admit I really didn't get it at first. I felt like I was wasting time. I struggled to quite my thoughts. There was always this little voice saying "You should be doing this, that, or the other." as I tried to meditate. So I'd meditate for a day or two or five, then stop for a week, a few weeks, or a month. Then I tried one of the Oprah/Deepak Chopra meditation experiences . I did several of these experiences. I always completed the entire experience, which included a writing portion. I kind of liked that part. I didn't like the bent toward the marketing ploy that tells people they are broken and need this experience to fix themselves. I also didn't like that the introductions to the meditations often had a "woo woo" element. At the end of each experience, I'd find myself relieved it was finally over. I'd end with the best of intentions to keep meditating. And, then I'd miss a day, then...

The view as I return home from a walk. I love to take a walk! Getting outside, feeling the sun, the wind, even the rain on my face lifts my spirits almost every single time. I try to take a walk, even if it's only 10 minutes, at least twice a week. Walking is a simple activity that can do so much for us. There are multiple reasons I take a walk and none of them have a single thing to do with my weight or my appearance. Clear my head. Sometimes when I've been working for hours on multiple projects, a quick walk helps to clear my thoughts. It feels almost like a moving meditation that also gets my heart pumping and my limbs moving. When I'm feeling overwhelmed by everything I need to do in a day, a quick walk often makes that task list seem much less daunting. When I clear my head, it's easier to get back to work. Spend time with a friend. I walk with a friend one day a week, almost every week. After those walks I always feel more connected and more focus...

Sometimes when trauma strikes, it feels like it will never end. It feels like one is mired in the moment and can't quit reliving it. Last week I wrote about how sometimes it's enough to survive until one can thrive again. There's a reason for that. Overcoming trauma takes time. Overcoming trauma takes effort. Overcoming trauma takes self-compassion. Overcoming trauma takes connecting with others. Overcoming trauma takes seeking the help and support one needs. Trauma, whatever type of trauma it might be, tends to put us into a place where hope is diminished and sadness feels overwhelming for a period of time, a period of time that varies from person to person. When we say, it's time to "move on" or to "let it go" or whatever other cliche we use, what we really do is tell the person before us we know longer want to hear about it, it's too much for us, and/or we have nothing to help. If that person is still processing, we send the message, inte...

Three of the scariest words I've ever said were "I love me." That's not a typo. I still remember the first time I whispered it to myself while staring into the mirror. I stumbled over the words. I wondered if I meant them. I also wondered if saying them to myself was narcissistic.  What a strange moment that was. We often talk about self-love with either a wishy-washy, new age-y attitude or with derision. But, the reality is we can't truly love anyone else until we love ourselves.  Loving yourself might be the farthest thing from narcissism because to love one's self, one must acknowledge and face the things one doesn't much like about one's self.  Loving yourself doesn't mean you think you're perfect or superior or even wise. It  simply means you treat yourself with the same kindness, compassion, understanding, and devotion you treat anyone you love. For me, at that point in my life, that was unthinkable. How could I possibly love my...

Balance... There's that word... We all say it all the time. We strive to create balance in our lives. We seek work-life balance. If only we could balance...  Balance... It's easy to see balance as some kind of Holy Grail that will magically make life perfect... But if you're anything like me, the word balance has become one that has you either grinding your teeth or rolling your eyes or both... Recently, I did a meditation on Insight Timer called Balance Meditation.  As the guide instructed me to breathe in to a count of four 1-2-3-4 and out counting backwards from four 4-3-2-1, I felt a slight resistance I couldn't quite explain. Yet, I often do this kind of breath work in my yoga practice without feeling a resistance. Finally, I settled into the breath pattern... and felt my body sway slightly before centering back into my starting position. After I finished the meditation, I wrote in my meditation journal as I do every day. As I wrote about balance and about...