Favorites.... Shmavorites....

A few years ago I bought Creative Knowing: 50 Self-Reflection Questions for Women by Christina Katz, a digital book filled with exercises for getting in touch with one's creativity because I thought it might be nice to use as writing prompts when I felt uninspired or had a lull in my writing. I recently printed Creative Knowing to use as short daily writing exercises while I'm editing my forthcoming book, The Gift of Gratitude: Lessons in Life, Love, and Loss. I find that sometimes when I'm editing a book, it helps if I have some type of short daily writing activity even if I'm writing something that I'll never publish like the exercises in Creative Knowing.

 As I started working through the questions, I kept coming up against one of those things I don't do well with... Favorites. It sounds like such a simple question regardless of what it refers to...
  • What is your favorite color?
  • What is your favorite book?
  • Who is your favorite actor?
  • Who is your favorite singer?
  • What is your favorite song?
  • What is your favorite animal?
  • What is your favorite flower?
  • What is your favorite...*
We ask each other these kinds of questions all the time. I know many people find insights in the exploration of their favorites, and that's wonderful for them. I find pinpointing a favorite stressful. There are many reasons to love multiple things and myriad people. 

 I can love both classical music and hard rock. I can love many different people, each for reasons individual to that person. I can love cats, dogs, rabbits, horses, and all other creatures for their contributions to my life or just to the world in general. I can look at a group of flowers and see beauty in them all.

 The older I've grown, the more my focus on ranking things in order of preference has diminished. I don't need a favorite this or that to enjoy life or the moment. I don't need to exclude in order to feel like something is special. I can be inclusive and loving and kind to all manner of people and things. I can appreciate the beauty the diverse world brings to my life without feeling a need to either include it all or actively exclude parts of it.

 I've come to view declaring favorites as a tiresome and useless activity, at least for me, so as I worked through the "favorites" questions at the beginning of Creative Knowing, I kept thinking "Favorites.... Shmavorites. Who gives a damn?" 

 But... my annoyance with those questions lead me to think deeply about why I don't care what my favorite reptile or favorite bird is. It reminded me how much I love the way our ecological system works together to create a harmony that allows all Earth's inhabitants to flourish... And when we upset that delicate balance by favoring one part of it over the other, we damage the environment in which we live...

So I refuse to feel pressured to declare favorites, whether it be insects or people. I'd rather remember just how interconnected we all are. I'd rather love without ranking. I'd rather love without comparing. I'd rather love without choosing a favorite...

If, at some point, I happen to blurt out a favorite this or that, I won't feel guilty about that either because it will be true in that moment. But it won't be a forced favorite for the sake of declaring a favorite.

Sometimes we find a deeper truth by embracing and exploring our reluctance to embrace and explore the question at hand... 

 *These questions might or might not appear in Creative Knowing and are not intended to represent those questions.
T. L. Cooper is an author and poet whose work aims to empower and inspire through an exploration of the human condition. Her poems, short stories, articles, and essays have appeared online, in books, and in magazines. Her published books include a collection of short stories, Soaring Betrayal, her Silhouette Poetry Series, and a novel, All She Ever Wanted. She grew up on a farm in Tollesboro, Kentucky. She currently lives in Albany, Oregon with her husband and three cats.

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