The Mask

I was reminded of this poem from my book, Reflections in Silhouette: Poems while working on the blog post, Masks of Me. I decided to share it.


The Mask

One day
I put on a mask
To make you love me
Not because you asked
But because I feared
The look in your eyes
Disappointment, I believe it was
So I 
Settled the mask into place
Tweaked it
Made it beautiful
Perfected it to make you happy
Created exactly what
Made you smile
Turned the look in your eye to approval
Made you love me
As time passed
I deceived myself
I accepted the mask as
The real me
I forgot who I was under
The mask
When the mask cracked
As they will 
I quickly – before anyone could see
Plastered the cracks
Filled in the holes
Blended the paint
Hid the damaged and weakened foundation
Corrected its imperfections
Settled the mask back into place
When the mask slipped
As they will
I quickly – before anyone could see
Pushed it around to make it fit
Smoothed the borders
Adjusted it so you wouldn’t notice
Ignored the ever rotting foundation 
Pretended its perfection remained 
Settled the mask back into place
Your acceptance
Your approval
Your love
For
The mask
Intoxicated me
Into believing
The mask was
Better
Happier
Stronger
More beautiful
Than me
And I began
To forget
I wasn’t
The mask
One day
A friend from my past
Reminded me
The person under
The mask was
As acceptable as
As beautiful as
As perfect as 
As loveable as
The mask
I resisted
I clung to the mask
The mask had brought me
Protection
Acceptance
Approval
Love
The mask
Began 
To itch
To chafe
To strangle
To smother
To kill
You loved
The mask
So very much
I saw it in your eyes
I felt it in your touch
I heard it in your voice
Could you love me?
How could I disappoint you?
And yet how could I deny me?
I shoved the mask around
Tried to make it comfortable again
Tried to make it reality again
Tried to deny the mask and I weren’t the same
Tried to imagine being without
The mask
Repairs became difficult
The mask crumbles
A little more each day
I fear
What will happen
The day it’s destroyed
When I’m only me
When I’m no longer
The mask





To learn more about me and my work, please visit my website. To be notified when I publish new work, follow me on Amazon.


T. L. Cooper is an author and poet whose work aims to empower and inspire through an exploration of the human condition. Her poems, short stories, articles, and essays have appeared online, in books, and in magazines. Her published books include a collection of short stories, Soaring Betrayal, her Silhouette Poetry Series, and a novel, All She Ever Wanted. She grew up on a farm in Tollesboro, Kentucky. She currently lives in Albany, Oregon with her husband and three cats.

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