Write with TLC

A few of the self-help books I read to address my fear of success. I've always been a very determined, ambitious person. Yet, there came a time when I realized that every time I got close to reaching a goal, I'd somehow sabotage it or I'd minimize my accomplishments . I shied away from publicizing my work. I started to play small when I most needed to be seen. I couldn't quite understand what was happening. At first I thought I feared failure, but I'd feared failure most of my life (more on this next week). This felt different. This behaved differently. Yet, I ended up reaching the same stalemate. Over time I started to see how often I downplayed what I did well and focused on what I did poorly. It dawned on me that I had somehow begun to fear success. At first I dismissed this as silly. Who fears success? I didn't even think that was a thing, which is strange since I studied psychology. How the hell could someone whose whole life had been about achievin...

I have a small confession to make. I hate the abortion debate. I hate it with a passion. Abortion should not be a political issue. Abortion is a personal issue of health and well-being.  If we focused on health and well-being, we would focus on ways to prevent the need for abortions by finding ways to prevent unwanted pregnancies rather than condemning those who make the choice. For example, sex education, affordable access to birth control, and affordable access to healthcare are all ways to prevent unwanted pregnancies and therefore lower the abortion rates. I know several women who have had abortions.  There are always reasons. There are always circumstances. There are always  situations. Not a single woman I know who has had an abortion came to the decision easily or lightly. Some of those women still claim to be anti-choice. The women who still claim to be anti-choice explain that their abortions were okay because they had "good reasons unlike those other wome...

Sometimes the words just won't cooperate... Today is one of those days for me... Yesterday was one of those days for me... At least when it comes to writing this blog post. I planned to write about mothers, but the words just wouldn't come. So I've sat and stared at the screen. I've written and erased and written again. I've thought. I've researched. I've done other chores. But no matter what I did the words just wouldn't form. Sunday was Mother's Day in the United States, so I felt obligated to write about mothers or about my conscious choice to not become a mother or about being a daughter or about the pain that accompanies Mother's Day for some people for one reason or another. But, I'm not going to. Instead, I'm going to give you the permission I just gave myself. When something just isn't working, sometimes you just have to let it go. You have to let yourself off the hook. You have to see that it's okay if your pri...

Creating and keeping a schedule isn't always easy for me. There I said it. I find it easy to allow the flexibility of my schedule to allow me to think I don't need a schedule or to allow my goals and tasks to fall behind. In reality though if I'm going to accomplish my goals I need a schedule to keep myself focused and on track. Last year I realized my priorities had gotten way off track... I would reach the end of each day wondering where my day went. I felt like I was on a treadmill facing a moving target that I could never quite reach.  I decided it was time to pay attention to where my time was going. I decided to track my activity. I tried a couple of different methods. I tried documenting every activity as soon as I finished, but that was time consuming and annoying. I tried documenting my activities at the end of the day, but I couldn't quite remember everything and it was easy to dismiss this or that or the other because it only took a few minutes. I sett...