Showing posts from August, 2012

Oh, No, My Enthusiasm Waned? When Did That Happen? How Did I Miss It?

Sometimes we really don't know what we need until we receive it. Today I had a two hour conversation with an author friend. We talked about the book industry, our work, our personal lives, and the struggle it can be to accept new things.

As we talked I felt encouraged about the plans and goals I set a year ago. I hadn't even realized I'd lost some of my enthusiasm over the past few months, but I had. Life has brought some uncertainty my way, and I haven't been able to do some things I would like to do. Falling behind on the schedule I set for myself started to weigh on me even though the delays have mostly been caused by things beyond my control.
I haven't quit working on my projects or striving to meet my goals, but somewhere in the past few months I began to fall into old habits of allowing self-doubt and self-recriminations to sneak into my thoughts from time to time. I pushed them aside and kept plugging away, but they were there. And, those little negative mom…

Surviving Rape is Not a Crime

If you know five women, you know at least one who has been raped. Think about that for a minute. Go ahead. I'll wait...

Okay, are you back now? Ready?

She may never tell you. She may never show it publicly. She may seem like every other woman you know. Yet she may check the locks on her doors obsessively. She may flinch when a man steps toward her in what no one else would perceive as threatening. She may be hyper-vigilant about her surroundings. She may insist on more control over her personal space than seems necessary. She may capitulate way too easily. She may flinch when a co-worker, or even a friend, touches her arm or taps her shoulder. She may not laugh at that joke you find so incredibly funny - you know that one about bondage or rough sex. Or she may laugh at it a little too hard. She may seem like a prude. She may seem like a slut. She may be married. She may be single. She may seem hard to get to know. She may seem to reveal way too much. She may seem to tell you every…

Treat Yourself the Way You Want Others to Treat You

We all know the golden rule, right?  "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Today, I was in Costco when I came upon a bouquet of red and yellow roses. I stood staring at those roses. The next thing I knew they were in my hand. Now, I don't remember actually picking them up, but I suddenly realized I was standing there with a goofy grin on my face and possibly a tear in my eye because a girl who works there asked me if I needed help. I smiled, blinked back the tear, and said, "No, just made me remember a moment in time." She smiled knowingly and murmured something like "Enjoy." and left me to a private moment.

I wished, in that moment, that someone would buy me flowers - to be more precise the roses I held. I turned to put the roses back on the rack, but instead put them in my cart. I stood there staring into the cart and started trying to talk myself out of buying them. Cut flowers die.... Yeah, but they are beautiful. It's money I sh…

Fighting My Muse... Again. Will I Ever Learn?

Last year I wrote a post about fighting my muse. Apparently, I didn't learn my lesson. Yesterday I got up with a clear idea of what I wanted to write about. The title had already written itself. I was excited, so I typed the title in the little box - something I usually don't do until I'm at least halfway finished writing a post.
I started typing. Did I mention I was excited? Then I looked at the words on the screen. They had absolutely nothing to do with what I planned to write... Huh? Who took over my hands? My thoughts? My brain? So for the next couple of hours I fought with my muse about what to write.

There was a post I wanted to write. Then there was the post I was writing. How did happiness over connecting with the people in my life morph into a post about introverts versus extroverts? Really? Well, it was something I'd wanted to explore for a while, but it wasn't the plan for that post.

I walked away from the post, answered some messages, did a few chores, …

Apparently, I Love People, Who Knew?

When I tell people I'm a writer, they almost always, at some point, in our first conversation make a reference of some kind that I must be an introvert. I almost always take offense but smile politely and respond with something to the effect that writing tends to be solitary work but that I enjoy people. I've struggled with this stereotype for a long time. Does the fact that I spend long hours alone with the voices in my head make me an introvert? I really don't think so. The fact that I listen to them, talk to them, and write down what they say may call my sanity into question, but it doesn't make me an introvert.

I've never considered myself either an introvert or an extrovert. I've even argued the point with friends. I love a good party. I love to be around people. I love to engage with other people in stimulating debates and interesting conversation. Sometimes I love sitting in a crowd and absorbing the energy around me. I love hearing people's stories …

Attracting What I Deserve aka Deserving What I Attract

I've been thinking a lot about what I deserve in life.

Someone recently made me feel like I expect more out of life than I deserve. It wasn't intentional, but the conversation hit a nerve I thought long dead. Over the next few days, my thoughts returned to the idea more often than I'm happy admitting.

I've been willing to settle for less than I deserve for much of my life because I thought I didn't deserve the good I really deserved. It's not that I didn't fight for what I projected I thought I deserved. The problem was I didn't really think I deserved what I demanded other people give me, so I never expected to actually receive it. When I did receive it, I questioned it, doubted it, and sometimes even, subconsciously, rejected it.

I remember a short time during my high school/college years when I genuinely believed, at least to some degree, I deserved the best out of life and life would bring it my way if I just worked hard enough and stayed focused. P…

Tricks of Memory

Memory can be a tricky thing. Two people go through the same experience together, but their stories will differ slightly when they recall what happened. Sometimes a person's mood even affects how they remember an event. The memory may be a little different one day than it is another day, not in the big moments but in the little nuances. We tend to forget the things that don't support our point of view, especially if it challenges our view of ourselves.

Other events can also taint our memory of one event because our brains make connections between events even if only in our memories. Those connections help us identify patterns in our lives, but they can also mislead us into believing two events are related when in fact they may not be. Of course, since they are memories that are part of our lives, how can two events that happen to one person not have some connection however remote?

Sometimes other people's recollection of an event makes us doubt our own memories. What we fo…

Memory in Silhouette Kindle Edition Free for Limited Time

Memory in Silhouette: Poems Kindle edition is free through midnight on August 2, 2012! Download now! Enjoy!

If you enjoy the book please come back to "like" it! Reviews are also encouraged as a way to let people know what you think!