Thursday, February 9, 2017

I Choose... Love

My adherence to the idea that living from a foundation of love has gotten me more than a few patronizing smiles. But I cling to the idea that the more love we put into the world, the less hate there is to multiply. It's so much easier to hear one another when we approach one another from a place of love instead of a place of hate.

People coming together at the Women's March in Salem, Oregon
January 21, 2017
I've always thought we could bring people together by sharing our lives with all their differences and similarities. Lately, I've been doubting that. Some people seem so determined to hate that there's no reaching them. In a way, I almost feel sorry for those people. They cheat themselves out of so many glorious experiences, so many unique and beautiful moments, so much happiness just so they can cling to stereotypes and hatred, just so they can rail against a perceived enemy.

When someone says "but not this one person I/you know" when making sweeping hateful comments about whole groups of people, their disclaimer means nothing. If you hate everyone from a group of people, you hate the person you have a direct or indirect connection to as well. So I'm not excusing you anymore. When you show me your hate, I'm taking you at your word.

I can almost hear the but, but, but... in the silence of my office. I've heard it often enough in real life. And, I've smiled and accepted it far too many times.

A few places I've visited over the years
I have been lucky enough to travel and to meet people from myriad cultures and backgrounds. I've been able to talk to and, more importantly, to listen to people from a vast range of backgrounds. I've been able to share experiences with people from all over the world. My life is so much the better for it that it astounds me that not everyone wants to have those experiences and make those connections. 

Yet, with all the experiences I have had, I feel like I don't know nearly enough about the world. The more I learn, the more I know there's so much I don't yet know. It's humbling to witness the immense and beautiful diversity of the world and see the similarities that sometimes surprise. To embrace the moment you discover something you thought unique to your life experience is shared by a kindred spirit in someone who has seemingly lead a life vastly different from yours is transformative.

As long we see enemy in every face that doesn't reflect ourselves back to us, how can we ever find those transformative moments?

We share the same planet. We share the same air. We share the same existence regardless of the differences in our experiences. We are all in this together regardless of whether we like or dislike that fact.

As I wrote this, I was reminded again of The Pale Blue Dot by Carl Sagan...




We have choices to make about how we'll spend our time on this pale blue dot...

As for me, I choose love... Love of self, love of my fellow Earthlings, love of the planet that sustains me, love... As hard as it may be at times, love is where I find my foundation, so I will try my damnedest  to live from a place of love even when, perhaps especially when, it feels so much easier to give in to hate...

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Foundation of Love... You'll See

I am usually motivated by love, but the past few months I've found it difficult to live from a place of love. I fought that difficulty. I fought it hard. I like being motivated by love because as I explored in a blog post, What Motivates Me?, back in August 2015 anger, hate, and rage tend to overwhelm me to the point of feeling paralyzed. Love on the other hand frees me, gives me direction, gives me a foundation.

Monkey Face at Smith Rock in Terrebonne, Oregon
The past few months every time I've tried to tap into the foundation that allows me to live from a place of love, I've felt fear and anger, perhaps even a bit of despair, raging just below the surface. I've tried. I've pushed myself. I've worked hard to embrace the love I feel for the people and animals that inhabit this Earth, for the Earth itself. The Earth is home, the only one we've got, after all. 

I've tapped into the things that remind me of love. I've avoided the things that increase my despair. I've contacted friends who always help me find my center. I've listened to empowering music. I've listened to inspiring speeches and poetry. I've read books, articles, and poetry that give me hope. I watched Madonna's 2013 Secret Project Revolution calling for a Revolution of Love a few times in attempts to tap into my foundation of living from love. 

I needed to remember that love, not hate, is how we find answers. I needed to remember that love, not hate, is where true progress lies. I needed to remember that when I live from a place of love, I put love into the world. I needed to remember that love can make a difference.

And yet I still felt a sense of loss under my skin begging for my attention. I cried. I grieved relationships that have long been dead without the pronouncement. I needed to find confidence in living from a place of love again. I needed to reconnect with my love for self, for others, for strangers, for people I have every reason to hate. 

I practiced loving-kindness meditation. I practiced gratitude. I practiced solitude. I practiced yoga. I sought answers. I sought out compassionate listeners. I sought out encouraging friends. I tried to listen to those who disagree with me. I tried to send love out into the world. It took more effort and energy than I possessed. 


I retreated into myself.


But I didn't give up.

Recently, I heard Madonna's You'll See, and it struck me in a way it never had before. On the surface, it's a love song, but is it a love song? It has always struck me as a song of perseverance, a song of loss, a song of standing for the truth, a song of survival in the face of a relationship gone wrong. But tonight that message felt wider. It reminded me that sometimes we find ourselves standing all on our own in a moment that will define us for the rest of our lives. Do we stand for the truth and acknowledge that even in defeat, truth is better than deceit or do we sink down and sling hate for hate, violence for violence, lie for lie?


I don't know how we can make the world a better place if we allow rage alone, however justified, to guide us, but I do know from the depths of my heart I have to find the strength to embrace living from a place of love even as I fight for what matters to me. It's the only way I can survive. It's the only way I can stay alive. It's the only way I can thrive.


When I decided to live from a foundation of love several years ago my life changed for the better. It didn't happen overnight, but over time I stopped feeling so defensive, angry, and scared all the time. I stopped being so suspicious of people, even those who appeared to have only the best of intentions. I found it easier to engage people without setting up artificial walls. I struggled to set boundaries while living from a foundation of love and I still do, but I continue to try. Living from a place of love means loving myself first and then letting that love expand outward.


I will not allow my confidence in living from love to be destroyed... I can't because if I did, I simply couldn't survive... let alone thrive...





And when I fail, I'll get back up, dust myself off, stumble until I find my footing, and move forward... You'll see...