It's Okay... Really It Is

Sometimes the words just won't cooperate...

Today is one of those days for me... Yesterday was one of those days for me... At least when it comes to writing this blog post.

I planned to write about mothers, but the words just wouldn't come. So I've sat and stared at the screen. I've written and erased and written again. I've thought. I've researched. I've done other chores.

But no matter what I did the words just wouldn't form.

Sunday was Mother's Day in the United States, so I felt obligated to write about mothers or about my conscious choice to not become a mother or about being a daughter or about the pain that accompanies Mother's Day for some people for one reason or another. But, I'm not going to.

Instead, I'm going to give you the permission I just gave myself. When something just isn't working, sometimes you just have to let it go. You have to let yourself off the hook. You have to see that it's okay if your priorities sh…

Creating and Keeping a Schedule... Sighs!

Creating and keeping a schedule isn't always easy for me. There I said it. I find it easy to allow the flexibility of my schedule to allow me to think I don't need a schedule or to allow my goals and tasks to fall behind. In reality though if I'm going to accomplish my goals I need a schedule to keep myself focused and on track.

Last year I realized my priorities had gotten way off track... I would reach the end of each day wondering where my day went. I felt like I was on a treadmill facing a moving target that I could never quite reach. 

I decided it was time to pay attention to where my time was going. I decided to track my activity. I tried a couple of different methods. I tried documenting every activity as soon as I finished, but that was time consuming and annoying. I tried documenting my activities at the end of the day, but I couldn't quite remember everything and it was easy to dismiss this or that or the other because it only took a few minutes. I settled on t…

Meditation Mediates My Day in Minutes

I started meditating several years ago. I'll admit I really didn't get it at first. I felt like I was wasting time. I struggled to quite my thoughts. There was always this little voice saying "You should be doing this, that, or the other." as I tried to meditate. So I'd meditate for a day or two or five, then stop for a week, a few weeks, or a month.

Then I tried one of the Oprah/Deepak Chopra meditation experiences. I did several of these experiences. I always completed the entire experience, which included a writing portion. I kind of liked that part. I didn't like the bent toward the marketing ploy that tells people they are broken and need this experience to fix themselves. I also didn't like that the introductions to the meditations often had a "woo woo" element. At the end of each experience, I'd find myself relieved it was finally over. I'd end with the best of intentions to keep meditating. And, then I'd miss a day, then anoth…

Benefits of Taking a Walk That Have Nothing to Do with Weight

I love to take a walk! Getting outside, feeling the sun, the wind, even the rain on my face lifts my spirits almost every single time. I try to take a walk, even if it's only 10 minutes, at least twice a week. Walking is a simple activity that can do so much for us.
There are multiple reasons I take a walk and none of them have a single thing to do with my weight or my appearance.
Clear my head. Sometimes when I've been working for hours on multiple projects, a quick walk helps to clear my thoughts. It feels almost like a moving meditation that also gets my heart pumping and my limbs moving. When I'm feeling overwhelmed by everything I need to do in a day, a quick walk often makes that task list seem much less daunting. When I clear my head, it's easier to get back to work.
Spend time with a friend. I walk with a friend one day a week, almost every week. After those walks I always feel more connected and more focused. Her dogs walk with us, and I get to enjoy their compan…

Taxed by Taxes

A few weeks ago on the day I planned to prepare my taxes, Heather Parker, posted something on Instagram about how changing "have to" to "get to" regarding one's tasks makes the task more palatable. It reminded me that I often try to do that or something similar. I take a dreaded task and try to find something positive about doing it. So I said aloud to myself "I get to prepare my taxes." Then when that felt really weird, I posted my attempt and my internal response as a comment on her post with a touch of humor.

Like most people I dread doing taxes every year. It's so time consuming and so fraught with the possibility of making some tiny mistake that will come back to haunt me. I used to take my taxes to an accountant, but several years ago I decided to give TurboTax a try. Using what I'd learned from using the accountant, I figured it out. It wasn't much more difficult than filling out the form she sent me every year, so I've prepared …

Overcoming Trauma Takes Time

Sometimes when trauma strikes, it feels like it will never end. It feels like one is mired in the moment and can't quit reliving it. Last week I wrote about how sometimes it's enough to survive until one can thrive again. There's a reason for that. Overcoming trauma takes time. Overcoming trauma takes effort. Overcoming trauma takes self-compassion. Overcoming trauma takes connecting with others. Overcoming trauma takes seeking the help and support one needs.

Trauma, whatever type of trauma it might be, tends to put us into a place where hope is diminished and sadness feels overwhelming for a period of time, a period of time that varies from person to person. When we say, it's time to "move on" or to "let it go" or whatever other cliche we use, what we really do is tell the person before us we know longer want to hear about it, it's too much for us, and/or we have nothing to help. If that person is still processing, we send the message, intended …

Survive Until You Can Thrive

Survive until you can thrive.

I've often repeated this to myself when it felt like I couldn't take another step forward.

Sometimes it feels like thriving is an elusive goal. Something meant for other people - people who are more worthy. Ah, yes, there's that word again, worthy. The concept came up last week in my post, Journey to Financial Security, because it's all linked. All of life is linked.

Our thoughts, our emotions, our actions are all linked to one another.

There was a time in my life when I thought success was as much my right as anyone else's, but that faded with myriad life experiences until I questioned that I'd ever felt that way. I've never cared that much about outside validation, but I have struggled to stand tall in my successes.

For a while I carried a fear that acknowledging my accomplishments was too showy. I didn't want to make other people feel bad, so I started to downplay any success. I didn't want it to seem like I thought I was…