Posts

Support Authors Without Buying Books...

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On several occasions over the years since I published my first book, someone has said some version of "I like your work, but I just don't buy books." To be honest, this used to bother me. I pour my heart, soul, and mind into every book I write, so it felt personal when someone told me they didn't buy books. 

Over time I've come to realize there are many reasons people opt not to buy books, none of them are a reflection on me or my work. Some people can't afford to buy books. Some people don't buy books because they don't like to keep books for a variety of reasons. Some people are minimalists. Some people don't get joy from seeing books on a bookshelf. Some people see buying books as wasteful.

I generally just smile when someone tells me they don't buy books. I'm not interesting in coercing someone into buying one of my books if they don't want it. I want people who do buy my books to feel good about buying them. At the same time, sellin…

Making Choices... Wasting Time...

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Last night I went to bed thinking about how I choose topics for my blog and why sometimes I end up feeling like I have no topics left to write about. I know intellectually this isn't true, which is why I say it feels that way.
There was a time when I had so many topic ideas, I would get so overwhelmed I would fall into analysis paralysis. The results were the same as when I feel like I have no topics left to write. Nothing got written.
I reached a point where I felt like this blog had lost its focus. To be more pointed, I had lost my way on this blog. There were things I wanted to say, but I grew increasingly concerned I'd covered this or that or whatever and that I'd said everything I had to say on whatever topic came to mind.
In the past, I was often inspired to write about what was happening in my own journey through life as well as by my observations of what was happening in the lives of those around me. But, I started to hold back. I didn't want to share as much. At …

I Have Nothing to Wear... Or Do I?

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When I first thought about challenging myself to not by any clothes for myself for the entirety of 2018 toward the end of 2017, I shrugged it off. It would be no big deal IF I decided to do it, right? If I didn't do it, it also wouldn't be a big deal. Yet the idea stuck with me over the next few days.

Then on December 28, 2017, as I placed an order for a couple of dresses to replace dresses I'd recently removed my closet, I kept thinking about the challenge. Did I really need those dresses? I mean really? I had a closet full of clothes. I wanted to be more mindful about my shopping moving forward. I wanted to have a closet with clothes I not only loved but wore.

Later that day as I stood in front of my overflowing closet freaking out that I wouldn't have anything to wear if I embarked on this challenge, I took a deep breath. Then I looked at all those clothes I hadn't worn for months, years, or ever - some I still haven't. I felt a pull inside and push from somew…

Your Vote Reveals Your Values

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There's a cliche that keeps ringing through my head. "Actions speak louder than words." Let's be more specific. Votes speak louder than words. And, have a much longer lasting impact.

I keep thinking about how many times - I've lost count - someone has told me emphatically "You know I'm not racist." or something equivalent  in the course of a somewhat political conversation. But do I? How can I?

When people vote for a racist who is going to implement racist policies, how can I not conclude they support those racist policies? Particularly if they continue to vote for avowed racists. And, if they support those racists and their racist policies, that sure looks like racism.

I vote my values. I assume other people do as well. Otherwise, what's the point of voting? Why would someone vote for someone whose values don't align with theirs? So when someone says "You know I'm not a racist." after voting for someone who is and who supports en…

Words are Powerful - Dona Nobis Pacem

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Words are powerful...

Words hold the power to heal or to hurt.

Words can unite or divide.

Yet, how often do we say words without considering their impact?

Denying the words said doesn't erase them. Taking them back doesn't undo their damage.

I can remember so many times when words cut me to my core, words that the speaker probably doesn't even remember saying yet they stuck in the recesses of my heart and mind and spill out when I'm feeling particularly vulnerable either as a way to erode my self-esteem when I feel confident or to feed whatever insecurity has risen to my thoughts.

When we spew words of hate, hate spreads. When we spew words of violence, violence spreads. When we spew words of chaos, chaos spreads. When we spew words of cruelty, cruelty spreads. When we spew words of divisiveness, divisiveness spreads.

So it would stand to reason, that words of love spread love. Words of peace spread peace. Words of encouragement spread encouragement. Words of compassion sprea…

Not Taking No For An Answer

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But he says he didn't do it...

Somehow his word whoever he happens to be is more credible than hers to some people no matter what the situation, no matter what the evidence, no matter how credible her account or how much his lacks credibility. For some reason, for some people that's enough. 

It's as if they expect criminals to be honest... Really? 

And for some reason they always doubt women... Really?

What do you expect him to say, seriously? To admit it is confessing to a crime, even if the statute of limitations has run out.

I've been raped on three different occasions by two different men. Yet, I'm fairly certain neither of those men would admit assaulting me because they see nothing wrong with their behavior. (other posts on sexual assault.)

I confronted the two men, let's call them M and W, who raped me. Each readily admitted he proceeded even after I said no and made it clear I didn't want to have sex.

M even bragged about "not taking no for an answer&…

When We All Vote, We All Have a Voice

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When we all vote... When we all vote... When we all vote...

What happens when we all vote?

When we all vote, we send a message to those who lead us. When we all vote, we lead those who serve us. When we all vote, we proclaim our values. When we all vote, we whisper our concerns. When we all vote, we expand the conversation.

At least, that's what I believe on my best days.

On my worst days... well, let's not go there. Let's keep this positive.

So, today, on Voter Registration Day, let me talk a bit about voting.

When I turned 18, my Dad made sure I registered to vote. Yet, I didn't exercise that right. That first year, my birthday was so close to Election Day, I didn't think I had time to get an absentee ballot and I couldn't miss class to make the approximately 2-hour drive to vote and back again. It would've meant missing a test and therefore failing it. Besides I didn't feel knowledgeable enough to vote, or so I told myself. My Dad was sorely disappointed, …