Write with TLC

Often when we long for one thing that craving is simply a mask for the thing we really want.  When I crave Grandma Stamm’s macaroni and tomatoes, boiled potatoes, or chocolate cake, it’s not the taste I want.  No one can ever duplicate her cooking even if they follow her recipes to the letter.  Grandma made those with her special love, and that’s what I really crave.  Grandma died twenty years ago, and I still long to spend time with her. She often expressed her love through cooking.  Every Sunday she fixed favorite dishes for family and friends she expected to visit.  There were no invitations, no RSVPs, no formality.  People wandered in and out of her house Sunday afternoon and into the evening.  They fixed a plate of food from the bowls and platters of food kept warm in the oven, played a game of cards, and chatted about the week past and the coming week.  She’d lay her cards down to greet the newest visitors, and after much protest, return to the game all the while informing the ne

An analysis of my life has shown me time and again how interwoven strength and vulnerability are. I can see times in my life when I struggled to be strong and when I hid my vulnerability. I have often put up a tough exterior to hide my incredibly fragile vulnerability as well as my incredibly fragile inner strength. It seemed like my inner strength intimidated people and my vulnerability offered them ammunition against me, so I learned to hide both behind a tough exterior. I feared having my vulnerability used against me and my strength scaring people  away . Hiding both my strength and my vulnerability became yet another mask I wore to  protect myself from the people in my life. I didn't quite understand how to be both strong and vulnerable with others without putting myself at risk.  Other times I'd overshare with people as a test to see who would stay and who would leave. I get to choose who sees different aspects of my life. I didn't understand the idea that some people