Thursday, August 16, 2012

Treat Yourself the Way You Want Others to Treat You

We all know the golden rule, right?  "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Today, I was in Costco when I came upon a bouquet of red and yellow roses. I stood staring at those roses. The next thing I knew they were in my hand. Now, I don't remember actually picking them up, but I suddenly realized I was standing there with a goofy grin on my face and possibly a tear in my eye because a girl who works there asked me if I needed help. I smiled, blinked back the tear, and said, "No, just made me remember a moment in time." She smiled knowingly and murmured something like "Enjoy." and left me to a private moment.

I wished, in that moment, that someone would buy me flowers - to be more precise the roses I held. I turned to put the roses back on the rack, but instead put them in my cart. I stood there staring into the cart and started trying to talk myself out of buying them. Cut flowers die.... Yeah, but they are beautiful. It's money I shouldn't spend... Your smile is worth the cost of these roses. But, it's silly to buy roses for myself... Why? Don't you love yourself enough to treat yourself to something that brings you joy. But, what if... Stop it, you deserve them. They're beautiful!

Then the lyrics to Luther Vandross's song Buy Me a Rose started to go through my head. I love that song. Okay, I've said that before, but it's still true. "Buy Me a Rose, call me from work/Open a door for me, what it would hurt/Show me you love by the look in your eyes/These are the little things I need the most in my life."




The idea behind Buy Me a Rose is so true. It's the little things in life that matter.

As I was checking out, the cashier, a man, looked at me and smiled over the roses as he inhaled deeply and then commented how wonderful they smelled. He handed them to the man bagging my items, who also smelled them and commented they were beautiful and smelled good. I'm not sure why, but that little moment was refreshing. Neither minded taking a moment to smell the roses, literally, even with a line of customers waiting to check out, and I noticed a couple of other customers smile, too. What a simple moment of pleasure for all of us. I smelled them again and smiled as I pushed the cart away from the checkout.

As I drove home something nagged at me. When did I come to the conclusion that it was silly to buy myself roses? I used to buy myself cut flowers all the time until the gesture became so routine it lost its meaning. I convinced myself this tiny thing I enjoyed so much was a waste of money and time. I convinced myself the pleasure I felt was wasteful. I didn't want to be the woman who enjoyed the things that men say only women enjoy. I didn't want to be overly sentimental or accused of being mushy. I didn't want to be "that kind of woman" whatever that kind of woman was.

 The roses lay in the passenger seat as I drove home. I stole glances at them and smiled every time. Their beauty brought me pleasure. Their fragrance brought me joy. Maybe I am that mushy woman, after all... Don't tell anyone, okay?

I came home, arranged them in a vase, and still a thought nagged me. Suddenly, I realized something. We always preach the golden rule I mentioned at the beginning of this post. What we never say is that we should treat OURSELVES the way we want other people to treat us. If I don't treat myself like I deserve pleasure, happiness, laughter, love, success, and all the good things in life, how can anyone else ever give me those things? And, even if they did, would I recognize them? And this goes back to the post I did last week about attracting what I deserve.

Today, I bought myself roses because I knew in my heart I deserved the pleasure they would bring me. I treated myself the way I deserved to be treated. I treated myself like I want others to treat me. I accepted that I am worth two dozen beautiful roses simply because I am me. Wow, how good does that feel?

Ladies, gentlemen too if you so desire, don't wait for someone to buy you the rose. Buy your own rose because you need to treat you like you want other people to treat you, like the special person you are! Say Buy Me a Rose to yourself before you ask it of anyone else!

I dedicate the song Buy Me a Rose to everyone out there in hopes you'll decide to treasure yourself with the little pleasures you deserve! Then, maybe just maybe, someone else will also treasure you with the pleasures you deserve, but if they don't, so what, you know what you deserve! Treat yourself like you want others to treat you. I think that's my new personal philosophy.

I vow right this moment to treat myself the way I want others to treat me...


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