Write with TLC

Sometimes we set goals and think we have everything all figured out only to have life shift under our feet like sand on the beach. Then we have to figure out what to do. We can give up. We can switch directions and look for better footing. We can re-evaluate the path we're on. We can keep digging our feet into the sand refusing to accept reality. I've done all of these at one time or another. This year was a year of shifting goals, and for the first time ever I felt like I moved with the changes without completely sinking into the sand. I felt like I kept my goals rooted on a steady foundation even when I faltered. I started the year with several goals. As the year progressed, I began to see how some of those goals needed major adjustments while others needed minor adjustments and still others needed to be packed away for the time being. As I face the end of the year, I can see clearly that my goals for the year are still in flux. I'm not going to meet a couple of...

We all have dreams. Resolutions are easy to make. Goals are how dreams and resolutions are met. We set goals all the time even if we don't write them down, speak the aloud, or share them with others. Goals fill a scale from the minuscule to the gigantic. What makes a goal attainable is all the little goals we set along the way. It's those small steps we often don't think of as goals. It's the daily task on the way to the goal. When I shifted my mindset to think of my daily tasks as mini-goals, I found it much easier to achieve my goals. Though sometimes I've fallen into the trap of over-congratulating myself for meeting those smaller goals on the way to the bigger goal. Yet, those smaller goals along the way help me to see I'm making progress even when it feels like I'm not. This year I set a goal to finish 3 books I've had in the works for awhile. Confession, I'm not going to make it. The other day, I started to beat myself up about not meet...

Sometimes it's easy to only see our own point of view. It's the default mode. It takes an effort to look at someone and say with sincerity "I want to hear your side of the story." Usually, we're only willing to hear someone else's side of the story when we're backed into a corner. Interesting how that works. It helps us hang on to our own narrative and shields us from confronting our biases. Yet, when we take a deep breath and open ourselves to hearing another person's side of the story, we invite compassion and understanding into our relationships, into our lives, into our selves. So why is it so incredibly hard to do? We claim we're interested in each other. We claim we're interested in the truth. We claim we're interested in connecting. Yet, so often when the story doesn't fit the narrative in our hearts and minds, our defenses go up and we shut out the other story. I tell myself time and again I'm going to be open to...

There's no way to change some things. We can't always make things right once we've made them wrong. We can't take back the damage we've inflicted with careless words or actions or attitudes. Some damage is simply irreversible. Most of the time we navigate the world worried that our actions are more important than they are, but we also tend to downplay other actions. We all live on the same planet, and our actions affect people we might never meet. I struggle with this more and more as I navigate a world that seems to be focused on accumulating stuff no matter the cost to other people. The people working in abysmal conditions in some factory on the other side of the world are far removed from our daily lives. What can we do about it? I used to hear people say "Vote with your dollars" and wonder how my little purchase could make a difference one way or the other. As I researched more, I began to see how this little thing and that little thing and this ...