Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Pointing Forward

"Pike would not back away. His arrows pointed forward, not back." from page 94 of The Sentry by Robert Crais.

Disclaimer: I am a little enamored with Joe Pike. There I said it... He grabbed my heart from his first appearance in The Monkey's Raincoat and took up permanent residence when I read L.A. Requiem (Elvis Cole Novels). No worries, my sanity is intact. I know he's a fictional character.

The above sentences leaped off the page when I read them and left my heart pounding. I grabbed my laptop and started a new blog post at one o'clock in the morning - the rough draft anyway - thanks to those two sentences.

Sometimes we move forward without resolving what needs resolved because momentum propels us forward. We find it easier to keep that "move forward" attitude in tact even if it means leaving behind people we cherish and things that are important. We let little things slide until they become issues that didn't need to become issues. Barriers are erected where none are necessary. We end up moving forward without thinking or feeling.

I know. I've been there. Maybe I need to have red arrows tattooed on my arms (yes, Joe's are red for those of you who don't know).... but I digress.

When we ignore what's in front of us in order to maintain our forward motion, eventually the past begins to collide in our heads. It creates chaos. It burdens us with regret and longing. To truly deal with it we have to be completely honest, we have to reveal things we don't want to reveal, we have to face things we want to pretend never happened. We stare in the mirror and want to just skip the part that's difficult. We want to move straight into fun and laughter and release, but we know that's not reality. That's just more pretense and more barrier building.

I know. I'm there right now. Still, if I had red arrows on my arms... but I digress.

Forward motion is important, but we mustn't use it to avoid today's issues. Forward motion is impossible to stop, but we mustn't forget from whence we came. Forward motion is always better than being stuck. Forward motion drags us along whether we want to go or not. When we move forward from a place that is healthy and balanced, life works. When we move forward just because it's easier than dealing with reality, we create a false forward momentum that keeps us stuck in what hurt.

Still, if my arms only had red arrows pointing forward tattoed on them...

My book of poetry, Reflections in Silhouette: Poems, is all about getting stuck, looking backward, and moving forward. It is about the struggle to accept one for one's self and allow one to grow through the pain. Poems, Willful Blindness, Distract Me, and Known and Unknown among others explore both the need to move forward and the struggle moving forward can be.

Perhaps red arrows pointing forward are just what I need...

Well, to be perfectly honest, it wouldn't make a bit of difference. I would still be me. I wouldn't suddenly become Joe Pike-esque. I would still have to find my own way to move forward from where I currently stand while dealing with the baggage I packed away and tried to forget existed.

Besides red arrows on my skinny arms would probably look ridiculous....

1 comment:

  1. I think I need to read that book!

    And maybe you could get a red arrow on your ankle? Except then people might have the whole cupid connotation thing and you'd spend a lot of time explaining :)

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