Objectification: The Sum of My Parts

Objectification of women (and men, but for the purposes of this post, I'm going to focus on women.) can be subtle or blatant. We often excuse or dismiss it. On the flip side, we sometimes grow overly indignant about it and create a situation where we can't deal with its effects because we get too caught up fighting about the nuances of what is and what isn't objectification. I recently became embroiled in such a discussion when the other party in the conversation took great offense when I pointed out how his behavior fit the definition of objectification. After a few moments looking at the definition of objectification he agreed that the behavior in question fit the definition of objectification but still took great offense at the very idea that he would objectify women.

Let's be clear about this. Everyone objectifies other people at some point in time. We're human. It happens. The problem is when objectification is a way of life because it allows us to put one group of people, in this case women, in a lower societal position.

There is no way around it. No matter what you tell  yourself, the moment you think a woman's body is more important than her mind, her heart,and her soul, you objectify her. The moment you see only the parts of a woman's body used for sexual pleasure, you objectify her. The moment you think a woman is incapable of making her own decisions and being her own person because she is a woman, you objectify her. The moment you attack a woman's right to have sole domain over her body, heart, mind, and soul, you objectify her. The moment all a woman is to you is a way to get turned on and consequently to achieve sexual satisfaction, you objectify her. The moment all a woman is to you is a breeder, you objectify her. The moment you decide a woman doesn't have the right or responsibility to make decisions for herself, you objectify her. The moment you want a woman to smile and look pretty but keep her mouth shut, you objectify her. The moment you treat a woman like a possession, prized or otherwise, you objectify her.

As soon as you objectify a woman, why would you treat her like a human being?

Women have had to fight for every right we have, and that's just plain wrong.

We excuse men for objectifying women with the tired excuse that that's just the way men are. Well, men, sorry, you're no longer getting off the hook that easy. Grow up. Men make the choice whether or not to objectify women. If that's your choice, own it, but be ready to suffer the consequences.

The real problem with objectification of women is that it allows society to treat women as less than human. If women are merely objects, there's no reason to value their work, their opinions, or their contributions. If women are merely objects, they can be possessed like any object. If women are merely objects, they cease to have have any rights. If women are merely objects, men can do with them and to them as they please. If women are merely objects, they cannot be victims or survivors. If women are merely objects, there is no reason to show them even a modicum of respect.

When we allow women to be objectified, we forget what it took to get the rights we have and the responsibility we have to protect those rights. Women were once considered the property of their fathers and their  husbands, and in some places in the world still are. Women were considered less intelligent than men for far too long. Women have been repeatedly relegated to roles of providing men's entertainment over the centuries. Women have been deemed only capable of pushing out babies and cleaning house far too often in past. Women have been kept to subservient roles and given salaries to keep them dependent on men for far too long. These restrictions on and attitudes toward women allowed men to create the rules that kept women objectified.

We like to think objectification has ended, but it hasn't. Will it ever? We can hope. The best we can do try to help people understand the negative effects of objectification and see how they can treat women as equals and why they must.

I've been giving this a lot of thought since my conversation, and that thought resulted in the following poem.

The Sum of My Parts

I am more than

The sum of my parts

You might see my smile

You might stare at my cleavage

You might notice the curve of my waist

You might admire my ass

You might let your gaze linger on my tight calves

You might long to touch the softness of my inner thighs

You might imagine the kiss of my lips

You might dream about my tongue’s ability to please

You might fantasize about the heaven between my legs

You might look at me

And only see

The sum of my parts

You might desire to devour me

You might want to dominate me

You might even wish to pleasure me

But

If you can’t see the beauty of my soul

If you can’t see the brilliance of my mind

If you can’t see the generosity of my heart

If you can’t see my thoughts as equal to yours

If you can’t see my emotions as important

If you can’t see I’m as much a person as you

If you can’t appreciate me for whom I am

Once you get past

The sum of my parts

If you can’t understand

Why knowing me

Is a privilege

If you can’t see

I am so much more than

The sum of my parts

If you can’t embrace

All I offer

You don’t deserve

To enjoy

The sum of my parts

I decide

Whether you treat me with

The respect, appreciation, and consideration

I deserve

If you don’t

You’ll be left to fantasize about

The sum of my parts

And

You’ll never have the honor

Of knowing me

Mind, heart, soul, and body

And knowing me is an honor

I promise you

I’m worth so much more than

The sum of my parts

Do you think you deserve

To know all of me?

Then prove it

Women, it is up to us to stand up and say "I refuse to be anyone's object. I am a human being. I am capable of achieving anything I want to achieve. If you don't like it, that's your problem."