Thursday, September 12, 2013

Start From Where You Are...

Start from where you are... Such a simple phrase. Such a simple concept. Such a simple action. Or so it sounds. Yet putting it into practice is nearly impossible; however, when we start from where we are, it is so easy to accomplish our goals.

I recently have been bombarded with lessons in the concept of starting from where I am. My life is in major transition mode leaving me with a lot of unknowns. In the past, unknowns would have left me feeling very insecure and even a bit unsafe yet I feel rather excited right now. I have moments of insecurity, but they are fleeting. I know that wherever I'm headed, I will end up in the right place for me. After all, I'll be there...

Everything I hold dear is currently transitioning to a new phase in my life, and there are moments when I cling to yesterday and other moments when I'm trapped in the outcome that hasn't happened yet. In those moments, I forget to be where I'm at in this journey. The problem with starting either from where I was or where I want to be is neither allows me to use this moment to create the momentum I need to move forward.

When I start from where I am, I'm not running to catch up or moving ahead of where I can be. I am actually creating...

For example, I had knee surgery last September. I never fully healed, but I kept trying to get my yoga (and my life and my writing) back to where it was before my surgery and to move past my recovery into recovered... I wasn't paying attention to the moment, at least not very well, until I ended up back at the doctor only to discover I needed to have surgery on the same knee again... So in July I had said surgery. Since then I've actively worked to avoid comparing my strength and flexibility to where I was, but I attempt a simple yoga pose and feel the lack of strength and flexibility in my muscles and joints and can't help but remember when this pose or that stretch was easy to do. In that moment, I have to take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and remind myself to "start from where I am..." 

I am currently editing a collection of short stories and it feels like backtracking because I wrote most of the stories years ago. I get frustrated with the process because I just want to get on with it and move to a new project. So I have to pause, breathe, and remind myself to "start from where I am..."

I have so many projects I'm excited about right now, many of which suffered major setbacks and delays over the past year. I feel my attention being pulled toward another one whenever I work on one. I feel myself  getting frustrated with myself for not working faster, for being behind schedule, or for the details I missed in earlier drafts depending on the project. Again, I have to take that deep breath, let it out slowly and remind myself to "start from where I am..."

Then there's my personal life which is also currently in a transitional place. Frankly, this is incredibly frustrating for me. I just want things settled, so I can focus on what's important to me yet, at the same time, I don't want it settled because I'm not sure what settled will mean. So I find myself drifting into a blanket of memories of what was and then fantasizing about what could be or even could have been instead of inhabiting the moment I stand in. I long to skip ahead to the part where the answers exist yet I know I must travel the path in order to find what I need to discover and even then I'll realize it's only part of the answer because this is my journey, my life. Finding the answers isn't going to free me up to be better at life, travelling the path where the questions exist is the only way to do that. Yet I find myself imagining and remembering instead of living... So I must take a deep breath, exhale, and remind myself yet again to "start from where I am..."

Relationships change, emotions change, thoughts change, priorities change, and life doesn't stop so we can catch up to it when we finish our transitions. Our transitions are our lives. We can't change what happened before, and we can't enjoy our goals until we achieve them; therefore, the only thing we can do to affect the transitions in our lives is to "start from where we are..."


1 comment:

  1. Great post! And something I constantly have to remind myself to do!

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