Consequences, Context, and Excuses

Far too many people seem to think there should be no consequences for their actions no matter what while also thinking other people should face consequences for theirs. I don't understand this thinking. I was raised to always be prepared for the consequences, good or bad, for my actions, good or bad. I don't always like those consequences, and there have been times I desperately wanted to avoid them. 

Every time I start thinking like that I hear my parents' voices in my head saying "If you can't do the time, don't do the crime." and my science teachers teaching me Newton's Third Law  "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."

These message instilled in me that there are consequences for which I need to be prepared. My words, my actions, even my thoughts have consequences, even when I'm the only one aware of those consequences.

That doesn't mean there isn't context to apply to situations that can possibly mitigate some consequences. But context doesn't completely absolve anyone of consequences. Even when those consequences feel or actually are unfair.

We often think of consequences in tribal terms. My tribe against your tribe. What members of my tribe do is forgivable, but if someone from your tribe does the exact same thing, it's not. And it seems like we often don't even realize we apply these different standards. I've had numerous "what about" conversations with friends where this tribalism becomes apparent causing the conversation to devolve quickly. There seems to be an idea that if someone says something hurtful to someone else, it's okay as long as its what their tribe believes even if it is factually erroneous. And then there's the suddenly being upset when the consequences are that the person from the my tribe calls out someone from the your tribe for being hurtful and/or factually wrong. This is the very definition of believing your actions/words should have no consequences. 

Then there are the unintended consequences. This brings to mind the story about the butterfly who flaps its wings on one side of the world and the effects are felt on the other side of the world. As careful as we are navigating the world, there are going to be times when the consequences for our actions are beyond our control and sometimes even beyond our knowledge. This makes it all the more important to pay attention to our actions. When we learn of unintended consequences, we then have to decide how to react to those unintended consequences. Take responsibility, provide context, make amends, or deny, excuse, deflect.

There shouldn't be excuses for one group and consequences for another group. We shouldn't mistake excuses for context or context for excuses. 

When we choose the action, we are choosing the consequences, even the unintended ones, and therefore we are accountable for our actions and the consequences of those actions.

The world is connected. We inhabit this planet with all the other beings on it. Everyone's actions have consequences not only for themselves but for the broader society as a whole. We cannot stop that from happening.

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