The Truth about Deception

Sometimes it feels like I'm surrounded by deception. We live in a world where deception is excused as spin or perception or opinion or image. While there is some truth to the idea perception influences our perspective of reality, the greater truth is there are some things that are factual, realistic, not up for interpretation. There are other things are simply not true no matter how much they fit the narrative we want to believe.

 I've lived parts of my life built on a foundation of deception. Deceptions I didn't choose. Deceptions I reluctantly accepted into my life. Deceptions I wore as a cloak from the vulnerability I feared. 

 Foundations built on deception crumble. Cloaks made of deception are full of holes. It's far better to face the truth, face reality, and then take action.

 Sometimes we embrace the deception because it feels better than the truth. It feels safer than the truth. It's easier than the truth. It's easier to believe what we want to believe than to accept the truth before us. I once said to a friend "Willful blindness makes the day go smoother." when discussing a situation where the truth hurt more than I could face in the moment. That is a form of deception - self-deception but deception nonetheless.

 Sometimes I still find it seductive to want to buy the deception presented to me.  Sometimes the deception someone tells me feels so much better than the truth even when I know it's a lie. Sometimes accepting the deception allows me to keep the narrative in favor of my position. That deception allows me to ignore that lies that created the narrative in the first place.

Opinions are not facts. Opinions might or might not be based on facts, but opinions are never facts. Neither are beliefs.

 But I'm coming to appreciate truth more and more. I'm not talking about "my truth" or "your truth" or some other version of the truth, but the truth - reality - facts. 

 While our experiences lend us to living our individual truths, the idea behind that isn't to deceive but to live more authentically, to put out the truth of who we are and how our experiences have shaped that truth, that authenticity, for all its perfections and imperfections.

 Sometimes I find it tempting to take the road of least resistance and play the expected role just like many other people, but it always ends up being more trouble than it's worth. I want to know people for who they are, and I want people to know me for who I am even if that means we end up not liking each other. Who is it we like if we never show each other who we truly are?

 I'm not an image I curate or an image you create in your mind. My authenticity comes from me being me in any given moment even if that seems to contradict who I was before or who you thought I was. Created and curated images are deceptions of their own.

 When we live with deception day in and day out, it becomes almost impossible to discern truth from lies. Then deception begins to feel as real as the truth, and truth begins to feel doubtful, unsteady, scary even.

 We live in a world that is built on images and manipulations and marketing and advertisement - all deceptions even when those deceptions are woven with the truth. Everything is about what sells not what's real. We must look past these deceptions to find the truth, but we can only do that if the truth is more important to us than the narrative we believe.




T. L. Cooper is an author and poet whose work aims to empower and inspire through an exploration of the human condition. Her poems, short stories, articles, and essays have appeared online, in books, and in magazines. Her published books include a collection of short stories, Soaring Betrayal, her Silhouette Poetry Series, and a novel, All She Ever Wanted. She grew up on a farm in Tollesboro, Kentucky. She currently lives in Albany, Oregon with her husband and three cats.

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